Something has changed yet again since the last post. The pit in my stomach, tolerable; the mistrust in my heart, undeniable. I can't believe anything he says anymore because he's lied to me so many times: too many times. He's lied straight to my face when I knew the truth. I still know the truth and it eats me up inside to live with it.
In a week, if he says yes, I think I might need the strength to say no. I want to give him a chance. One last chance. But one more setback could be very dangerous for me right now. I'm not as tough skinned as I thought. Maturity takes time.
