It's becoming apparent to me that Jake is not the man whom I currently love. I don't want to discredit anything, but it doesn't feel right just in this moment, as much as I am coming to care for him.
As for Hazen, today I went through his pictures: the pictures of him during the time we were together. I feel no love. In fact, I feel strong. I am not one to be replaced, though in a way, I guess I replaced him whenever I felt the need to get away...
In the end, I regret our relationship. For me, nothing profitable came of it. I ended up burning social bridges, losing credibility and overall, ending up broke and broken hearted. I should have let go when he let go.
Who knows if he even feels a morsel of what we may have once tried to nurture together. But I guess we're both doing our best to stamp that morsel into the dust.
Never will there be any sexual or emotional tension between André and I. Never will I ever feel the way I once felt towards André again. And that's what I am attempting to do with Hazen with all the zeal I can muster. Enough hurt, love etc. I will never be so easily replaced ever again. I will become stronger and better than what anyone can ever dispose of.
