Yesterday, I went on a date. It was great actually. We really connected, in a different way that I had never expected. But I'm not ready for that.
My head says that waiting for the love of my life is a fool's game, but my heart says otherwise. It's wanting to change him, wanting to change what he's doing, what he's always done behind closed doors, that I can't change. I can only change myself.
Maybe he's not ready for a real relationship. Maybe he'll delete the photo that I sent him, or more likely he'll respond with "Thank you. I hope you're well too."
I'm going to keep going on dates, even if I'm not ready for what that means, I was honest, with both parties, and that's the way I'm going to keep it.
I have to stop beating myself up about what I've done wrong and try to do some real good for myself. It's hard when you love someone as much as I love him though..
