I got the job at Holt Renfrew. The whole staff greeted me to welcome aboard. After weeks of unemployment, I guess it was all just a matter of trusting my efforts. Or maybe good times and bad times just randomly land in your lap like a jumbled game of toss-up.
And yesterday, after a lot of arguing back and forth, the one whom I love agreed to come out with me. We spent hours talking about honesty and what he's been doing, and what I've been doing, etc. It was all pointless until we both mentioned how jealous we get all the time... And then I asked him to come out with me tomorrow in the hopes of dispelling the drama. I never thought in a million years he would say yes; I expected a "maybe". Which is his nice way of saying no.
But thinking about it... I feel different.
I feel like when I first met him. I was so nervous and always wondering if he liked me or not, or would notice me etc.
I think I feel that way because I see this as an opportunity for something different and meaningful. All I know is this:
I don't want to sleep with him.
I don't want anyone who's known about us to be involved in our business.
I want to see him smile.
For the rest, I really have no expectations. Because I honestly believe at this point, if it doesn't work between us, then it's not meant to be.
