Something feels different and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

I'm nervous for tonight. I'm thinking of those things that I first thought of before the first time I had drinks with him: "what to talk about", "remain calm"...

The pain has stopped in a way. I don't feel like I used to. I can actually think. Last night, I rolled around in bed and ate junk food and watched Gossip Girl and I really enjoyed my time to myself.

Now I'm just nervous.

One more item to add to yesterdays list: I want sparks.

* * *

I hope I'm not just fooling myself again...