The only right thing I did was to take back that sketch. I needed it. For me.
When I started therapy the first thing I told her was that I was scared, scared that feeling good about my changes would lead to getting over him.
I needed him.
And now that I do feel good, I still want him.
I'm angry. Angry at my old best friend (most of all) for interfering. Angry at my current best friend for interfering. I'm angry at our mutual friends and his best friend and his ex. I'm angry that they all got a say and I didn't. I'm angry that I can't hang out with him at a bar because I'm not included.
I didn't get a say because I tried over and over and over to convince him.. that wasn't a way to get a say. And he didn't want that.
At least I see clearly now. And at least I can get on with my life.
I didn't lie. I was honest the whole way through. I will never stop loving him. But I don't have to be with him anymore to be happy. I'm healing.
