OK. I just have to accept it.

I'm neurotic. I always will be. I think this fight is really part of who I am and I've been trying to bury it to please others. I've definitely learned to tone it down, but it's a fundamental part of me, whether some people are turned off by in, or fall in love with me because of it.

I watched Gossip Girl today. I'm always a sucker for identifying to TV shows, or movies, or books. I see a lot of parallels and I pick them apart.

Serena and Blair went to Yale and even ended up in a physical altercation about trying to one up each other to get in.. it reminded me of the other night, and of my relationship with the man I love.

I fight for him because I care, and not many people seem to understand that. Even after my best friends tell me I should stop with this "abusive relationship" they don't understand that I still see value in it, and I still see the man that I love deep down inside my heart.

We'll fight, and it will be hard. But if he's willing, which I think he is by the fact that he's still talking to me too, then we'll work this out and be on good terms once again.

As for what Yale represents to Blair and Serena's relationship and the parallel that I've concocted to the relationship between me and the one that I love, well... that's to be seen.